Thursday, September 20, 2018

BREAKING: Anonymous Letter Surfaces About Hillary Clinton

PPPS (Washington, DC)—We are in receipt of a shocking letter involving Hillary Clinton from an
anonymous source who we suspect may be a male, IT professional.

PPPS is unable to release the full letter, or any information which might identify the sender. This brief excerpt, however, hints at a major scandal involving the former Secretary of State and Democrat presidential candidate.

"HILLARY CLINTON LOCKED ME IN A CLOSET AND FORCED ME TO SERVICE HER server."
As any good citizen would do, our CEO, Pundit Pete, has turned the letter over to FBI. The FBI responded to us with this brief, partially redacted explanation.
"The FBI does not investigate allegations of an anonymous nature which may involve Hillary Clinton, Barrack Obama, or other previously investigated individu         als, and does not accept unsolicited documents from anonymous sources who may have previously been granted immunity."
With that response, we believe the case to be closed.

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UNRELATED ANONYMOUS LETTER DEPARTMENT CORRESPONDENCE: PPPS has also received an anonymous letter which we believe to be from a different IT professional and involving a member of Congress. A portion of the letter reads as follows:

"Debbie Wasserman Schultz used me, fired me, then secretly kept me on the payroll for months."

3 comments:

  1. This is a mild revelation about Hillary. She is downright evil.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ZZZZzzzz... Shocked? No, we've suspected this all along. Am a bit surprised to see this in print. Partisan Press Pete must be on vacation.

    ReplyDelete

Feel free to comment, but keep it clean. Pious Pete will be monitoring.