Monday, May 20, 2013

Reporter Recants White House Story, Pulls New Book

PPPS (Washington)—In a shocking revelation this morning, our own Political-Beat Pete admitted that he wrongfully claimed credit for asking  a question in a recent White House press briefing. The March 18 story made national news, but the mystery "reporter from Colorado" was not Pete!

Under intensive interrogation by former prosecutor and staff attorney, Pleader Pete, assisted by our national security advisor, Pentagon Pete, Political-Beat Pete admitted that he claimed credit for a fast-breaking story about a reporter in the White House press room actually posing a tough question.

When Pete saw that the no one knew the name of the reporter, Pete jumped in to lay claim and posted his story with the Pundit Pete Press Service. Pete indicated that he had included an old photograph of himself standing outside of the White House security gate, and had altered a YouTube video of the press briefing to make it appear to come from him.

After further questioning, Pete also admitted that he had totally manufactured all of his previous White House Press Briefing stories and made up most of the content for his new book, Is Journalism Finally Dead? The book has been pulled from and Barnes and Noble shelves nationwide.

PPPS is currently examining all of Pete's past expense records, including two White House Press Correspondents' conferences in Las Vegas, and three trips to the Dominican Republic. The investigation has not indicated any involvement in the scandal by PPPS upper management, and appears to have been completely isolated to Political-Beat Pete and one unnamed staff assistant.  Political-Beat Pete has been placed on paid administrative leave.

In a statement released this morning, CEO and Editor-In-Chief, Pundit Pete, who would normally need to sign off on all major stories and travel expenses within the organization, stated simply that he had "no prior knowledge of Political-Beat Pete's outrageous and troubling activities until he first read about it in a (this) PPPS story about to go to press."

In three totally unrelated breaking stories, a Washington Post article indicated that the U.S. Department of Justice spied on Fox News White House correspondent James Rosen, and that a drone similar to the one depicted in this photo, was recently seen circling near the PPPS headquarters in Littleton, Colorado.

In addition, PPPS has just received notification from the IRS of a pending audit of all PPPS operations. As a result, PPPS will need to suspend it's coverage of White House and other national stories to devote staff time to respond to audit questions.

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