Satire from the Pundit Pete Press Service .... News Stories We'd Like to See, But Probably Won't
Thursday, September 29, 2022
Sunday, September 11, 2022
Rethinking Biden's Speech
PPPS (Littleton)—In our previous blog post, our staff may have come off as enthusiastically endorsing President Biden's healing "Soul of America" speech in front of Independence Hall in Philadelphia.
Upon reflection, and after reading several polls on the public reaction to the speech, along with hundreds of readers' comments, most of which we had to delete, we asked our Religion Editor, Pious Pete, to engage in a bit of soul searching on the topic.
Here was his conclusion in the form of a revised meme.
Please note that PPPS does not engage in religious interpretations of political events and that suggested interpretations from readers, including numerous references to dictators (specifically Musolini and Hitler), tyrants, demons, fascism, terrorism, thugs, hair sniffers, socialists, communists, Stasi, brown shirts, FBI and Satan, played no role in Pious Pete's re-interpretation of the speech. In fact, it is a long-standing PPPS policy to never includes such controversial terms in any of our posts.
Furthermore, Pious Pete would like to reiterate that he has no personal knowledge of the content of "Benito" Biden's soul and would never presume to do so.
However, Pious Pete has previously offered an opinion on the state of political discourse in America which might help in the interpretation of the Bidens speech. Pundit Pete: Pious Pete Opines on State of Political Discourse
Here is the meme from that 2017 blog post.
Friday, September 2, 2022
Summarizing Biden's Healing Address
PPPS (Philadelphia)—President Biden gave a rousing speech yesterday evening in front of Independence Hall in Philadelphia. His speech was so comforting and healing of the hurting soul of our nation that we asked our graphic artist, Pixel Pete, to create a moving tribute to our Dear Leader with one simple meme.
Thursday, July 28, 2022
Biden's Economic Response to a Recession
PPPS (Washington, DC)—We asked our graphic artist, Pixel Pete, to present the Biden Administration's complex economic policies and response to today's release of the 2nd Quarter leading economic indicators in a manner more easily understood by our Low Information Readers.
Tuesday, July 5, 2022
What's Up With the New Pride Flag?
PPPS (San Francisco)—During June, officially designated as LBGTQ (plus) month, or Pride Month in America, a new flag began to appear across the fruited plain. In addition to new colors added to the traditional rainbow, the flag also included some phrases which were puzzling.
Perhaps some of our readers can explain.
Wednesday, March 23, 2022
Significant Thoughts by Kamala
PPPS (Littlteon)—One of the little appreciated attributes of our globe-trotting, problem-solving Vice President is her ability to inject poetry and philosophy into topics of importance to the American people.
We, at the Pundit Pete Press Service certainly appreciate how Vice President Harris has elevated the national discourse...so much so that we are putting together a recurring series documenting her most elegant ramblings. We call it Significant Thoughts by Kamala.
Here is the first installment.
Saturday, February 26, 2022
Stories from CPAC 2022
Stories from @cpac 2022.
Sitting in the Press Area for CPAC, the power went out for two rows of tables and the journalists started to panic.
Tuesday, February 15, 2022
Commentary on Canada from a Progressive
PPPS (Boulder)—With our neighbor to the north shut down by traitorist trucker terrorists, and the Canadian Prime Minister finally taking appropriate action, we were surprised to see this commentary from our own staff member, Progressive Pete.
Could the winds of change be blowing south?
Thursday, January 27, 2022
Could Pete Be Offered Supreme Court Appointment?
PPPS (Washington, DC)—With the "Unofficial" announcement that Supreme Court Justice Breyer will retire, speculation as to a replacement has been running rampant around this town.
PPPS has an exclusive scoop that our own Pundit Pete is high on the list for the appointment. We have obtained a copy of the application submitted by Pete, which our White House sources tell us has already risen to the top of the stack.
President Joe BidenWhite HouseRe: Upcoming Supreme Court VacancyHey Joe -I have an unblemished court record (if you ignore that incident back in college) and I self-identify as a BLACK FEMALE.Plus, since Covid started, I've gotten a lot of experience working in a robe.Come on man, give me a call!—Your friend, Soon-to-be-Justice, Pundit Pete
PPPS will keep you updated as this story develops. Pete has already met with several leaders in the Senate to determine how he would rule on key issues before the Court.
Monday, January 3, 2022
Pundit Pete's 2022 Predictions
PPPS (Littleton)—With 2021 finally in the rearview mirror, our esteemed Editor-In-Chief, Pundit Pete, has issued his Predictions for 2022.
1. Illegals Will Sue Cartels in 2022
With a generous cash settlement courtesy of U.S. taxpayers apparently off the table, look for illegal immigrants and their Leftist lawyers to re-aim their mistreatment, separation and trauma lawsuits at the Mexican Cartels in 2022.
Pundit Pete is so confident in the success of this endeavor that he has directed our own corporate attorney Pleader Pete to get in on the action (and a generous cut of the resulting cash settlements). We will update our readers on the lawsuit status, just as soon as we hear back from Pleader Pete, who is making initial inquiries south of the border (he's only been missing for a few days now).
2. Democrats Will Win Big in the 2022 Midterms
|H/T to Suzanne Hamner for article and photo.|
"The Dems are just like us. Dead. So, they've got my vote", blushed one deceased Chicago voter, who proudly displayed a Grover Cleveland pin commemorating the first election he ever voted in. "In fact, I'm gonna vote Democrat in several states this year." he added.
Bonus - Pete's Personal Resolutions for 2022 We Can All Follow
Friday, August 20, 2021
Biden Unleashes New Afghanistan Strategy
PPPS (Camp David, MD)—In response to mild criticism from the press and the international community, the Biden Administration today unleashed a new strategy to repatriate American citizens and others currently held hostage by the Taliban in Afghanistan.
The strategy was unveiled by Dr. Jill Biden, on behalf of President Joe Biden, at a video press conference today from Camp David, the presidential retreat where the couple are currently vacationing. The President's only participation in the press conference was to briefly help hold up a sign. No follow-up questions were allowed.
The strategy, as explained by Dr. Biden, was to appeal to the Taliban via their huge following on Twitter. "You don't accomplish goals or conduct diplomacy with mean tweets" she added, presumably referring to former President Trump, who has been banned from Twitter.
Many in the press are dubbing it a brilliant social media coup, in stark contrast to the failed military and diplomatic efforts originally conceived by the Trump Administration to safely extricate the U.S. from Afghanistan.
For her part, Dr. Biden graciously shared credit for the strategy with former First Lady Michelle Obama, who had previously conducted a successful "hashtag campaign" on behalf of another group of hostages several years ago.
For those unable to watch the full news conference, PPPS has created this brief summary, including a screen shot of the vacationing couple with their sign for the campaign using the hashtag #PleaseLetThemLeave.
Tuesday, August 17, 2021
Biden's Afghanistan Speech Summary
PPPS (Washington, DC)—President Joe Biden took time out from his well-earned vacation to deliver speech to our nation and the world regarding the US troop withdrawal from Afghanistan.
For the benefit of our low information readers with short attention spans, we summarized President Biden's historic speech with a few brief phrases and photos.
Tuesday, June 15, 2021
Pundit Pete's Advice to President Biden
PPPS (Brussels)—As the G7 Summit winds up and President Biden prepares to meet with Vladimir Putin, our own Pundit Pete had some kindly advice for future international conferences...and for any other interactions involving our dear leader.
Tuesday, June 8, 2021
VP Harris Finally Visits Border
PPPS (McAllen, TX)—BREAKING NEWS
In a stunning change of course in the Biden Border Policy, Border Crisis Czar and Current Vice President Kamala Harris has chosen to visit the southern border with Mexico to personally assess the situation.
And, in perhaps an even more stunning turn around, VP Harris made her visit to the border as part of a bipartisan tour, accompanied by radical Colorado Republican Representative Lauren Boebert, of gun packing fame.
Our PPPS camera crew was able to obtain exclusive video of the history-making border visit by Vice President Harris.
Friday, May 14, 2021
Has Race Card Been Overplayed?
PPPS (Littleton)—Given the Left's proclivity for labeling anything they disagree with as racist, we asked our crack research team to search for something not so labeled. Here is the result.
In the course of their research, PPPS staff also came across this old post, which seemed relevant.
Wednesday, March 3, 2021
State of the Union
PPPS (Orlando)-- Questions have been raised among the political class about whether President Joe Biden will be giving the traditional State of the Union speech to Congress, or is even capable of doing so.
It turns out that, given the mess left by the previous administration, and the lack of any vaccine available to combat the Wuhan virus pandemic, the Biden Administration has had to sideline that speech. Fortunately, former President Donald Trump was able to step in and help out.
Here is a link to President Trump's speech at CPAC 2021.
President Trump CPAC 2021 Full Speech I NewsNOW from FOX - Bing video
Thursday, February 25, 2021
Thoughts on Unity
PPPS (Littleton)—Our new and esteemed President, Joe Biden, campaigned (sort of) on a theme of Unity for America. Since his inauguration, he and fellow Democrats have begun to implement that great theme through executive orders, partisan legislation, and calls to expel and silence Republicans and conservative media.
Their actions help to clarify the role of Unity in bringing America together. We asked our graphic artist, Pixel Pete, to illustrate the Democrats' concept of Unity.
Friday, February 5, 2021
Competition for the MyPillow Man
PPPS (Atlanta) —As controversy mounts over Mike Lindell's outrageous claims of erection fra*d and continued support for the former president who shall not be named, Progressive activist David Hogg has decided to make a play for the MyPillow Man's source of power and influence, his bottom line.
Mr. Hogg recently announced that he will be fielding his own line of products in this high stakes pillow fight. PPPS has obtained a pre-release ad copy of Hogg's first product announcement.
Sunday, January 31, 2021
Why the Urgent Flood of Executive Orders?
PPPS (Washington, DC) —As Pundit Pete looked out upon our nation's capitol, surrounded by fences and razor wire, and the flood of executive orders from the White House, he sat and pondered these tides of tyranny, and the sea change that threatens America.
Saturday, January 30, 2021
Dangerous Hand Sign Deciphered
PPPS (Washington, DC)—Secret hand signals have featured prominently in the news. We enlisted the help of renowned sign language expert and interpreter, Pantomime Pete, to assist Pundit Pete in the investigation of this trending phenomenon. Here's what they came up with.