Professor Pete Explains Climate Crisis

The CNN Climate Science Experts

PPPS (Littleton)—Yesterday, CNN held a seven-hour seminar on the impending Climate Crisis which featured ten noted experts in climate science, who also happen to be Democrat Party candidates for president.

The program was both educational and alarming, as the candidates made a compelling case for immediate action to save our planet. It was difficult to turn away from the TV.

Because of the courageous CNN programming, the Climate Crisis now tops the list of important issues of concern to our low information readers.

We've asked our resident expert, weatherman Precipitation Pete, to weigh in on the Climate Crisis. But Pete, preoccupied with covering the disastrous Hurricane Dorian, instead referred us to a 2017 quote from our esteemed science adviser, Professor Pete.

For the purpose of alarming the public and advancing an unstated agenda, Conspiracy Theory is one scientific discipline wherein the absence of data, or the presence of conflicting data, is used to corroborate the stated hypothesis.

Climate Science is another such discipline.

—Professor Pete, 2017