Friday, April 3, 2009

Ward Churchill to Accept UN Appointment

(APPPS - Boulder, CO) After a whirlwind of high stakes negotiations easily as complicated as in any NFL trade, recently reinstated University of Colorado Professor Ward Churchill has agreed to accept a position as Special Envoy to serve on the United Nations Human Rights Council.

"Ward's lifetime of service in upholding the rights of his Native American brothers and sisters will serve him well in representing oppressed peoples from around the world on this important committee" stated Churchill's attorney, David Lane.

The Special Envoy position recently became available as a result of the Obama administration's decision to reverse a longstanding Bush Doctrine policy of refusing to fund or participate in any way on the UN Human Rights Council.

Lane, fresh from his victory in a Boulder courtroom yesterday, in which a jury voted to overturn Churchill's wrongful-termination over his now famous 9/11 Essay, was apparently also conducting simultaneous negotiations between his client, the university, the U.S. State Department, and the United Nations.

Details of the Churchill "trade" are still forthcoming, but are understood to include a visiting professorship for a high-level UN official, plus the prospect for several future exchanges among University of Colorado and United Nations personnel.

The name of the UN official has not yet been released, but our sources indicate it may involve someone previously connected to the Oil for Food Program.

The deal purportedly also involves a cash sum, to be paid by the university, with the potential for reimbursement using stimulus funds in the new budget package working its way through Congress.

The money would reimburse Churchill for back salary, and pay off the UN official's considerable New York City parking fines. Attorney Lane would also benefit - a welcome windfall in light of the minuscule $1 awarded to Churchill in yesterday's court proceeding.

The new appointment is consistent with President Obama's plan to resurrect America's sordid reputation in international circles, and his willingness to engage in diplomacy with prominent Council member states such as North Korea, Cuba, Sudan, Iran and Venezuela. The new policies are seen as a welcome change at the UN Headquarters in New York City.

Several UN staff members, while acknowledging Churchill's somewhat controversial past, predicted that an appointee with his credentials and warm, engaging personality, will work well with other Council representatives to advance the cause of human rights.

It remains to be seen, however, how New Yorkers will view Churchill's appointment.

Rumors that Churchill's attorney, David Lane, was also involved in yesterday's trade of Bronco quarterback Jay Cutler to the Chicago Bears elicited a "No comment" from both Lane and staff at the Broncos headquarters at Dove Valley.

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