Guest Editorial on Health Care Reform

The following guest editorial is from that well-known malcontent Persnickety Pete, founder of the extreme right-wing organization, Un-Americans For Change, and author of the book "Manufacturing Anger - a Guide to Political Persuasion". Some consider Pete to be the "Saul Alinsky" of the Tea Party movement.

My Thoughts on Health Care Reform
- by Persnickety Pete

All this loud, hot air about Health Care Reform got me think'n.  

And after think'n a while, I got to remember'n. 

And after remember'n a while, I wuz reminded of how my great grandmama, Persnickety Pearl, who was really wise and really persnickety, had a say'n.

And this say'n, wuz someth'n Grandmama Persnickety Peal said all the time.  And every time she said it, she said it really loud, 'cause she couldn't hear very well, and 'cause she couldn't hear very well, she jus' figured no one else could hear very well either, so whatever she said, she said really loud. 

Which is maybe why I remember this thing she said to me so well, it be'n so loud and all. That and the fact that she repeated it so often. I think that sometimes she forgot what she said from one minute to the next, so she tended to repeat herself, which she did quite often. And she did it loudly. Did I say that already, you know, about the loud part?

Well, anyway........where was I? ......I kinda got distracted there for a minute..... 

Ya know, my great grandmama, Persnickety Pearl, she used to get distracted a lot, too. And when she got distracted, she'd start to speak louder. And then she'd start to repeat herself, and that was when you knew she was really distracted. And the last thing ya wanted to do when Grandmama Pearl got really distracted wuz to distract her some more.

And then.....oh, yeah, I remember now..... my great grandmama Persnickety Pearl had this say'n....I can almost hear her now.

She'd say to me "Pete, my persnickety little pumpk'n, come over to yor great grandmama, and set yorself down, cause she's got someth'n to say to you." And then she'd kind'a lean over a bit, real close to my ear, and she'd say really loud,

"Just remember this, THE ROAD TO RUIN IS PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS...... 

and if I've said it once, I'll say it again, only louder, so you can hear me.....

THE ROAD TO RUIN IS PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS."

And then, most times, she would nod off, and I would try and get away without distracting her again.

Well, it just so happened that, while I was thnk'n about my great grandmama, Persnickety Pearl, a thought occured to me.

What if this new government health care reform bill that they've been debate'n at all these Townhall meet'ns, was kinda like that road she always talked about?

It just seemed like all those people scream'n at each other at them Townhall meet'ns must have had good intentions, especially 'cause they were all so loud, and 'cause my great grandmama, Persnickety Pearl,  was really loud, and she always had good intentions. 

And then I remembered all of the stuff I get in the mail tell'n about how our duly elected officials have good intentions.  And then I realized, right then and there ....

now this is important....

right then and there, I realized, that this health care reform thing was just like that road that my great grandmama was always talk'n about.

And then a wave a patriotism washed over me, and I knew I had to do someth'n about it.

And so, as a proud "un-American" and a good citizen, I decided to make a list of things I could do about that road to ruin we seemed to be go'n down. 

Here's the list of ideas I came up with:

1. Ignore great grandmama, and Blindly Follow That Road wherever it leads.
2. Turn up the music, Tune Out the loud debate and just enjoy the scenery.
   
3. Trust our duly elected road engineers to know what the heck they're doing.
4. Wait for those duly elected engineers to figure it out on their own and change direction.
5. Kindly, respectfully, and not too loudly, Suggest a new route.
6. Stop along the road, wave my arms and Shout to get their attention.
7. Get a shovel and dig some potholes to Slow Them Down.
8. Divert Them with a  Really Big DETOUR Sign.
9. TAKE OUT THE BRIDGE...... FIRE THE ENGINEERS...... ELECT NEW ONES!
   

Mmm.... that last one sounds the best.

Disrespectfully yours, Pernickety Pete, somewhere in Western Colorado, August 14, 2009

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