Biden's 1st Executive Orders

PPPS (Washington, DC)—President-Elect Joe Biden plans to hit the ground running, with a number of executive orders aimed at bringing unity to America.

   

PPPS has learned that, in addition to his 100-day Mask Mandate, the newly-installed president will issue an executive order to change the logo for the Department of Homeland Security to a more welcoming and unity-inducing design. 

The new design will replace the old, out-of-vogue design depicting a a bald eagle. Border Patrol agents are expected to have new uniforms depicting the logo in time for the arrival of the first caravan of illegal immigrants currently breaching the border between Honduras and Guatemala.

UPDATE Jan. 22, 2020: After posting this article we learned about the actual executive orders issued by President Biden on his first 1/2 day in office, some of which are quite controversial. With regard to the immigration issue, apparently our new president went a bit further than just changing a logo and creating a welcoming environment, and put a stop on exporting any illegal aliens. While we appreciate the kind sentiment, we fear these actions may have broad implications on our economy.

The president ended up issuing 25 orders on Day 1. Among them was an order to allow for boy (men) to participate in girls (women) sports. Another was to stop the Keystone XL pipeline project. 

Apparently this angered one of our loyal readers, a Democrat, who responded with this comment. We are not sure what the last part of that comment means, but we have a new policy here at PPPS to never discuss ERECTION FR@UD.