Biden Unleashes New Afghanistan Strategy

PPPS (Camp David, MD)—In response to mild criticism from the press and the international community, the Biden Administration today unleashed a new strategy to repatriate American citizens and others currently held hostage by the Taliban in Afghanistan.

The strategy was unveiled by Dr. Jill Biden, on behalf of President Joe Biden, at a video press conference today from Camp David, the presidential retreat where the couple are currently vacationing. The President's only participation in the press conference was to briefly help hold up a sign. No follow-up questions were allowed.

The strategy, as explained by Dr. Biden, was to appeal to the Taliban via their huge following on Twitter. "You don't accomplish goals or conduct diplomacy with mean tweets" she added, presumably referring to former President Trump, who has been banned from Twitter.

Many in the press are dubbing it a brilliant social media coup, in stark contrast to the failed military and diplomatic efforts originally conceived by the Trump Administration to safely extricate the U.S. from Afghanistan.

For her part, Dr. Biden graciously shared credit for the strategy with former First Lady Michelle Obama, who had previously conducted a successful "hashtag campaign" on behalf of another group of hostages several years ago.

For those unable to watch the full news conference, PPPS has created this brief summary, including a screen shot of the vacationing couple with their sign for the campaign using the hashtag #PleaseLetThemLeave.

Biden's Afghanistan Speech Summary

PPPS (Washington, DC)—President Joe Biden took time out from his well-earned vacation to deliver speech to our nation and the world regarding the US troop withdrawal from Afghanistan.

For the benefit of our low information readers with short attention spans, we summarized President Biden's historic speech with a few brief phrases and photos.

Pundit Pete's Advice to President Biden

PPPS (Brussels)—As the G7 Summit winds up and President Biden prepares to meet with Vladimir Putin, our own Pundit Pete had some kindly advice for future international conferences...and for any other interactions involving our dear leader.

VP Harris Finally Visits Border

PPPS (McAllen, TX)—BREAKING NEWS

In a stunning change of course in the Biden Border Policy, Border Crisis Czar and Current Vice President Kamala Harris has chosen to visit the southern border with Mexico to personally assess the situation.

And, in perhaps an even more stunning turn around, VP Harris made her visit to the border as part of a bipartisan tour, accompanied by radical Colorado Republican Representative Lauren Boebert, of gun packing fame.

Our PPPS camera crew was able to obtain exclusive video of the history-making border visit by Vice President Harris.

Has Race Card Been Overplayed?

PPPS (Littleton)—Given the Left's proclivity for labeling anything they disagree with as racist, we asked our crack research team to search for something not so labeled. Here is the result.

In the course of their research, PPPS staff also came across this old post, which seemed relevant.

State of the Union

PPPS (Orlando)-- Questions have been  raised among the political class about whether President Joe Biden will be giving the traditional State of the Union speech to Congress, or is even capable of doing so.

It turns out that, given the mess left by the previous administration, and the lack of any vaccine available to combat the Wuhan virus pandemic, the Biden Administration has had to sideline that speech. Fortunately, former President Donald Trump was able to step in and help out. 

Here is a link to President Trump's speech at CPAC 2021.
President Trump CPAC 2021 Full Speech I NewsNOW from FOX - Bing video

Thoughts on Unity

 PPPS (Littleton)—Our new and esteemed President, Joe Biden, campaigned (sort of) on a theme of Unity for America. Since his inauguration, he and fellow Democrats have begun to implement that great theme through executive orders, partisan legislation, and calls to expel and silence Republicans and conservative media.

Their actions help to clarify the role of Unity in bringing America together. We asked our graphic artist, Pixel Pete, to illustrate the Democrats' concept of Unity. 

Competition for the MyPillow Man

PPPS (Atlanta) —As controversy mounts over Mike Lindell's outrageous claims of erection fra*d and continued support for the former president who shall not be named, Progressive activist David Hogg has decided to make a play for the MyPillow Man's source of power and influence, his bottom line.

Mr. Hogg recently announced that he will be fielding his own line of products in this high stakes pillow fight. PPPS has obtained a pre-release ad copy of Hogg's first product announcement. 

Why the Urgent Flood of Executive Orders?

 PPPS (Washington, DC) —As Pundit Pete looked out upon our nation's capitol, surrounded by fences and razor wire, and the flood of executive orders from the White House, he sat and pondered these tides of tyranny, and the sea change that threatens America. 

Dangerous Hand Sign Deciphered

PPPS (Washington, DC)—Secret hand signals have featured prominently in the news. We enlisted the help of renowned sign language expert and interpreter, Pantomime Pete, to assist Pundit Pete in the investigation of this trending phenomenon. Here's what they came up with.

Could Voters be Experiencing Buyer's Remorse?

PPPS (Washington, DC)—President Biden signed a flurry of executive orders on his first day, representing policies and issues he apparently never campaigned on. Are voters starting to experience a bit of Buyer's Remorse?

We came across a couple of indicators of that online (anonymous sources).

29-Jan-2021 UPDATE: We saw this trending online today. Source unknown.

Biden's 1st Executive Orders

PPPS (Washington, DC)—President-Elect Joe Biden plans to hit the ground running, with a number of executive orders aimed at bringing unity to America.

   

PPPS has learned that, in addition to his 100-day Mask Mandate, the newly-installed president will issue an executive order to change the logo for the Department of Homeland Security to a more welcoming and unity-inducing design. 

The new design will replace the old, out-of-vogue design depicting a a bald eagle. Border Patrol agents are expected to have new uniforms depicting the logo in time for the arrival of the first caravan of illegal immigrants currently breaching the border between Honduras and Guatemala.

UPDATE Jan. 22, 2020: After posting this article we learned about the actual executive orders issued by President Biden on his first 1/2 day in office, some of which are quite controversial. With regard to the immigration issue, apparently our new president went a bit further than just changing a logo and creating a welcoming environment, and put a stop on exporting any illegal aliens. While we appreciate the kind sentiment, we fear these actions may have broad implications on our economy.

The president ended up issuing 25 orders on Day 1. Among them was an order to allow for boy (men) to participate in girls (women) sports. Another was to stop the Keystone XL pipeline project. 

Apparently this angered one of our loyal readers, a Democrat, who responded with this comment. We are not sure what the last part of that comment means, but we have a new policy here at PPPS to never discuss ERECTION FR@UD.