Biden's Been Busy - Writing a Book

PPPS (Rehobeth Beach, MD) — With all of the focus these days on President Trump's reckless war on Iran, our economy and our democracy, former President Joe Biden has been surprisingly quiet. So, we sent a crack crew of reporters to Rehobeth Beach, Maryland to find out how Joe has been spending his first year in retirement.

Apparently, President Biden has not just been reclining in a beach chair or riding a bike among the dunes near his Rehobeth Beach vacation home.

Instead, Joe's been busy writing a book!

Naturally, we assumed the book would be about Biden's successful term as President or a lengthy memoir documenting his long political career in DC. Our staff even speculated that the book might be of a more personal nature, a compelling story about his wonderful family, or about some hobby he has taken up in retirement, à la President George W. Bush and his portrait paintings. 

Through exhaustive research and contacts with numerous anonymous sources, our PPPS team of investigative journalists has revealed that Biden's book will actually be on a business topic, a guide so-to-speak for aspiring entrepreneurs, using Biden's own family business success as a model.

In a PPPS exclusive, we have obtained a preliminary copy of the cover design for the book, to be titled Plausible Deniability - How to succeed in family business without really trying.

To quote a spokesperson for the publisher, "President Biden chose not to write the usual self-promoting memoir about his presidency or political career. As the most successful one-term president in American history, his record speaks for itself and is already well-documented. Instead, he chose to continue in his service to our country by illustrating a pathway by which others may achieve their American dream." 

President Biden, because of his exhaustive schedule in retirement, complicated by his heroic battle with health issues, agreed to partner with a ghost writer on the book project. Our research indicates that the name of the ghost writer is Otto Penn, rumored to have previously worked at the White House assisting in the drafting of Biden's numerous executive orders.

In the course of research for this exclusive story, our reporters were unable to personally interview any of the Biden family. However, son Hunter, upon hearing of our investigations, challenged one of our reporters to a sword duel in a post on X.

President Biden's book is scheduled for release this summer.

Biden Unleashes New Afghanistan Strategy

PPPS (Camp David, MD)—In response to mild criticism from the press and the international community, the Biden Administration today unleashed a new strategy to repatriate American citizens and others currently held hostage by the Taliban in Afghanistan.

The strategy was unveiled by Dr. Jill Biden, on behalf of President Joe Biden, at a video press conference today from Camp David, the presidential retreat where the couple are currently vacationing. The President's only participation in the press conference was to briefly help hold up a sign. No follow-up questions were allowed.

The strategy, as explained by Dr. Biden, was to appeal to the Taliban via their huge following on Twitter. "You don't accomplish goals or conduct diplomacy with mean tweets" she added, presumably referring to former President Trump, who has been banned from Twitter.

Many in the press are dubbing it a brilliant social media coup, in stark contrast to the failed military and diplomatic efforts originally conceived by the Trump Administration to safely extricate the U.S. from Afghanistan.

For her part, Dr. Biden graciously shared credit for the strategy with former First Lady Michelle Obama, who had previously conducted a successful "hashtag campaign" on behalf of another group of hostages several years ago.

For those unable to watch the full news conference, PPPS has created this brief summary, including a screen shot of the vacationing couple with their sign for the campaign using the hashtag #PleaseLetThemLeave.

State of the Union

PPPS (Orlando)-- Questions have been  raised among the political class about whether President Joe Biden will be giving the traditional State of the Union speech to Congress, or is even capable of doing so.

It turns out that, given the mess left by the previous administration, and the lack of any vaccine available to combat the Wuhan virus pandemic, the Biden Administration has had to sideline that speech. Fortunately, former President Donald Trump was able to step in and help out. 

Here is a link to President Trump's speech at CPAC 2021.
President Trump CPAC 2021 Full Speech I NewsNOW from FOX - Bing video

Night One - DNC Convention

PPPS (Milwaukee)—We asked our resident expert, Political-Beat Pete, to summarize the first night of the Democratic Party National Convention held virtually in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 

Recognizing that most of our readers are low-information voters and unlikely to watch the convention. Pete chose to simplify the Democrat Party message and juxtapose their positions against those of the Republican Party, in order to present our readers with a clear choice in November. Here is what he came up with. H/T to John Kasich for the idea.

Post comments on what choice you will make in November.

Keep it clean - Pious Pete will be monitoring.

The Poetry of Impeachment

PPPS (Washington, DC)—Our Poet-In-Residence, Poet Pete, was so moved by the impeachment process that he decided to publish this poem.

Border Security Compromise or Tit for Tat?

PPPS (Washington, DC)—As another government shutdown deadline looms on February 15th, both sides in the border security debate are desperately seeking compromise. A select group of Democrat and Republican members of Congress is currently meeting to work out a deal. As part of these negotiations, however, two very interesting, but not particularly helpful, proposals have emerged.

On the one hand, President Trump has put forth a proposal to counter demands by Democrats for the elimination of ICE, the Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency. The Democrats claim that ICE is guilty of separating children from their migrant parents while attempting to enforce our immigration laws.

The President has proposed a clever solution by adding the word National to the beginning of the agency name, in order to emphasize its sovereignty in immigration matters over local jurisdictions, and in particular, states and municipalities claiming sanctuary status.

The resulting new acronym, NICE, would present a much less intimidating image to desperate migrant families seeking asylum, violent alien criminals seeking to avoid deportation, and to American voters.

In an equally clever counter proposal, Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi has floated legislation that would redefine the mission of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS) from one of defending our citizens against all threats foreign and domestic to a more holistic mission of inclusiveness.


In light of a call by at least one Democrat for the complete defunding of DHS, Speaker Pelosi's proposal is a model of moderation.

Her legislation, which is quite lengthy (over 4,000 pages), can best be summed up in the proposed new logo for the department.





It is certainly our hope that compromise will become the word-of-the-day in this debate over border security, and that another government shutdown disaster can thus be avoided.

Military Parades Are Really Cool

PPPS (Peoyangchang, South Korea)—We understand that there has been a bit of an uproar over President Trump's desire to have a military parade in our nation's capitol.

So we asked our North Korea correspondent, Pyongyang Pete, who has considerable experience observing military parades, to pause from his duties reporting on the North Korean Women's Olympic Hockey Team, and offer some perspective.