Thursday, September 5, 2019

Professor Pete Explains Climate Crisis

The CNN Climate Science Experts
PPPS (Littleton)—Yesterday, CNN held a seven-hour seminar on the impending Climate Crisis which featured ten noted experts in climate science, who also happen to be Democrat Party candidates for president.

The program was both educational and alarming, as the candidates made a compelling case for immediate action to save our planet. It was difficult to turn away from the TV.

Because of the courageous CNN programming, the Climate Crisis now tops the list of important issues of concern to our low information readers.

We've asked our resident expert, weatherman Precipitation Pete, to weigh in on the Climate Crisis. But Pete, preoccupied with covering the disastrous Hurricane Dorian, instead referred us to a 2017 quote from our esteemed science adviser, Professor Pete.
Conspiracy Theory is one scientific discipline wherein the absence of data, or the presence of conflicting data, is used to corroborate the stated hypothesis, for the purpose of alarming the public and advancing an unstated agenda.
Climate Science is another such discipline.
—Professor Pete, 2017 

Wednesday, July 17, 2019

The New Face of the Democrat Party

PPPS (Washington, DC)—An exchange of tweets over the weekend with President Trump has catapulted four freshman members of Congress into the forefront of the news cycle. Are these "women of color" now the new face of the Democrat Party and leaders of the fight for minority rights?

We asked our graphic artist, Pixel Pete, to encapsulate this new development in a meme easily understood by our low information readers.



Monday, June 10, 2019

Celebrating LBGTQ Month

PPPS (Washington, DC)—As the nation celebrates LBGTQ month this June, our staff wanted to make a suggestion and offer a commentary on the status of LBGTQ "rights" in America.

First a suggestion, to make the movement more inclusive:


And then a comment regarding the necessity of separately delineated "rights" for the LBGTQ community:


And, as a follow up to the preceding comment, our PPPS sports commentator, Player Pete, weighed in with this:


And finally, Citizen Pete, a loyal fan, occasional contributor, and friend of Jack the Cake Maker, sent in this suggestion for an official LBGTQ Month Moto:




Disclaimer: The Pundit Pete Press Service (PPPS) is not responsible for any comments, opinions or suggestions contributed by ANY staff member, contributor, associate, or friend of PPPS, nor is PPPS responsible for any offense, real or imagined, taken by ANY reader of the foregoing post, and if pressed, criticized, slandered, or sued, will disavow any knowledge of said post.

Wednesday, June 5, 2019

Connecting the Dots in DC

PPPS (Littleton)—Our esteemed Editor-In-Chief and CEO, Pundit Pete, has been a keen observer of all things political for many years, and has finally reached a conclusion about the many scandals and hints of scandal circulating around our nation's capitol.

Pundit Pete has managed to collect all of those political dots and connect them with one simple question and answer.

We think he's spot on.


Biden Plagiarizes Again

PPPS (Washington, DC)—Once again, former Vice President Joe Biden has been accused of plagiarism.

We asked our own staff plagiarist, Pilferer Pete, to weigh in on the subject.


Tuesday, May 14, 2019

Can New Weapon Turn the Tide in U.S.-China Trade War?

PPPS (Washington, DC)—PPPS EXCLUSIVE

Based upon a leak from a source deep inside the Pentagon, PPPS has obtained a photograph of a new weapon designed to combat hacking and intellectual property theft. Here is that photograph.

Leaked photo of new Pentagon weapon.


President Xi Jinping
The leak of this photograph comes at a delicate time in the trade negotiations with China. Is the leak just an inconvenient coincidence, or could it have been an intentional ploy in President Trump's negotiating strategy?

Will Chinese President Xi Jinping back down and begin to negotiate in good faith?



President Donald Trump




Is President Trump just crazy enough to deploy such a lethal weapon?

Check back for updates on these important questions as PPPS INVESTIGATES.




Saturday, February 9, 2019

Border Security Compromise or Tit for Tat?

PPPS (Washington, DC)—As another government shutdown deadline looms on February 15th, both sides in the border security debate are desperately seeking compromise. A select group of Democrat and Republican members of Congress is currently meeting to work out a deal. As part of these negotiations, however, two very interesting, but not particularly helpful, proposals have emerged.

On the one hand, President Trump has put forth a proposal to counter demands by Democrats for the elimination of ICE, the Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency. The Democrats claim that ICE is guilty of separating children from their migrant parents while attempting to enforce our immigration laws.

The President has proposed a clever solution by adding the word National to the beginning of the agency name, in order to emphasize its sovereignty in immigration matters over local jurisdictions, and in particular, states and municipalities claiming sanctuary status.

The resulting new acronym, NICE, would present a much less intimidating image to desperate migrant families seeking asylum, violent alien criminals seeking to avoid deportation, and to American voters.

In an equally clever counter proposal, Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi has floated legislation that would redefine the mission of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS) from one of defending our citizens against all threats foreign and domestic to a more holistic mission of inclusiveness.


In light of a call by at least one Democrat for the complete defunding of DHS, Speaker Pelosi's proposal is a model of moderation.

Her legislation, which is quite lengthy (over 4,000 pages), can best be summed up in the proposed new logo for the department.





It is certainly our hope that compromise will become the word-of-the-day in this debate over border security, and that another government shutdown disaster can thus be avoided.

Wednesday, February 6, 2019

Pundit Pete Opines on SOTU Speech

PPPS (Washington, DC)—Our esteemed CEO and Editor-In-Chief, Pundit Pete, offered up his wisdom after watching President Trump's State of the Union speech to the nation last night.


Monday, October 29, 2018

Is Political Rhetoric Over the Top?

PPPS (Littleton)—As the 2018 election fast approaches, we have one question:
Is the political rhetoric a bit over the top?

But, in considering the consequence of a Democrat takeover of our Republic and our personal freedoms, PROBABLY NOT.

Thursday, October 11, 2018

BREAKING: Blumenthal Makes Key Announcement, Joins #MeToo Movement

PPPS (Washington, DC)—Following his prominent role in the recent hearings on the Brett Kavanaugh appointment, Senator Richard Blumenthal (D-CT) announced his full support of the #MeToo Movement by declaring himself a woman.


It remains to be seen whether Senator Mazie Hirono (D-HI) will fully embrace the change and allow Senator Blumenthal to speak at Senate Women's Caucus events.

Tuesday, October 9, 2018

Energy Issues at Forefront of Colorado Governor Race

PPPS (Littleton)—As a leading press organization headquartered here in Colorado, the Pundit Pete Press Service has a professional obligation to inform voters on issues, both nationally and locally. It is our way of giving back to the community for the First Amendment press privileges granted us in the U.S. Constitution.

With that in mind, this is the first in a series of articles to help explain complex political issues and candidate policy positions in terms understandable to our fellow citizens (low information voters).

Our first topic is Energy Development in Colorado.

On one side of the issue, Democrat Candidate for Governor Jared Polis has taken the following position:
Climate change is real and the consequences are becoming a reality. I’m running on a plan to bring Colorado to 100% renewable energy by 2040, we can’t afford to wait.
Since a 100 %  renewable energy goal would of necessity eliminate the oil and gas industry in Colorado, Republican Candidate for Governor Walker Stapleton has pointed out the following:
Colorado's oil and gas industry contributes over 200,000 jobs and over $30 billion to Colorado's economy.
We asked our staff energy expert, Petroleum Pete, to encapsulate the issue into a simple, understandable summation for Colorado voters. Here is his summary, produced with the help from staff graphic artist, Pixel Pete:



We hope this helps.

NOTE: Look for upcoming installments in our aids to voters on other important issues.


Friday, October 5, 2018

Could There Be a Backlash Against Democrats?

PPPS (Washington, DC)—Some of the leading poling organizations are reporting that, rather than destroying all prospects for a successful Supreme Court appointment during the rest of the Trump term, and initiation of Blue Tsunami for Democrats, the Kavanaugh hearing on sexual assault accusations may be having the opposite effect.

Our own social media director, #PoundSignPete, recently detected this tweet trending on Twitter:


Our highly trained research staff is looking into the high school yearbook and other background information on the person responsible for this tweet.

Thursday, September 20, 2018

BREAKING: Anonymous Letter Surfaces About Hillary Clinton

PPPS (Washington, DC)—We are in receipt of a shocking letter involving Hillary Clinton from an
anonymous source who we suspect may be a male, IT professional.

PPPS is unable to release the full letter, or any information which might identify the sender. This brief excerpt, however, hints at a major scandal involving the former Secretary of State and Democrat presidential candidate.

"HILLARY CLINTON LOCKED ME IN A CLOSET AND FORCED ME TO SERVICE HER server."
As any good citizen would do, our CEO, Pundit Pete, has turned the letter over to FBI. The FBI responded to us with this brief, partially redacted explanation.
"The FBI does not investigate allegations of an anonymous nature which may involve Hillary Clinton, Barrack Obama, or other previously investigated individu         als, and does not accept unsolicited documents from anonymous sources who may have previously been granted immunity."
With that response, we believe the case to be closed.

************************************

UNRELATED ANONYMOUS LETTER DEPARTMENT CORRESPONDENCE: PPPS has also received an anonymous letter which we believe to be from a different IT professional and involving a member of Congress. A portion of the letter reads as follows:

"Debbie Wasserman Schultz used me, fired me, then secretly kept me on the payroll for months."

Wednesday, September 5, 2018

Kavanaugh Hearing - Day One

PPPS (Washington, DC)—With day one of the Judge Kavanaugh hearing in the bag, our own Pundit Pete arrived at this conclusion:


Also, after observing the frequent interruptions and demonstrations intended to derail the proceeding, we concur with Senator Ted Cruz, who summed it all up quite succinctly, from a political perspective:



Monday, August 6, 2018

NYT Named Racist Rag of Record

PPPS (New York)—With the hiring of new editorial board member Sarah Jeong for her insightful views on race, the New York Times has earned another esteemed title as the Racist Rag of Record.


Thursday, June 14, 2018

BREAKING: Leaks Indicate IG Report Conclusion Pre-Written Almost Two Years Ago

PPPS (Washington, DC)—Several news organizations are reporting that based upon leaks from unnamed government sources, the main conclusion in the Justice Department Inspector General's report on the Hillary Clinton email matter, closely matches, nearly word for word, a document previously written almost two years ago and published by PPPS.

PPPS has obtained a copy of the concluding statement in the IG Report, set to be released later today, and compared it to this conclusion which first appeared on July 7, 2016. The two statements are nearly identical.




Thursday, May 17, 2018

Pixel Pete Helps GOP

PPPS (Littlteon)—In the interest of fairness, having already helped the Democrats develop some campaign strategies for 2018, our own graphic artist, Pixel Pete, decided to offer his talents to the Republicans as well.

Here is what he came up with as a generic campaign theme:



Note: PPPS does not endorse, support or campaign for candidates of any political party.

Wednesday, April 4, 2018

Radical Literature Targets Students

PPPS (Berkeley, CA)—Our undercover student investigator, Protester Pete, has uncovered a dangerous and radical document being circulated among students at colleges and high schools around the country. Pete was able to intercept this copy before it could be used to radicalize an unsuspecting and vulnerable student.

PPPS is currently investigating the individual or organization responsible.

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

T-Shirt Message All the Rage On College Campus'

PPPS (Boulder)—There is a surprising turn in the protest culture happening on college campus' across the nation as a radical t-shirt design is being worn with alarming frequency.

Some sources suspect that College Republicans may be to blame. Others think it may be part of a well-funded attempt by remnants of the Tea Party Movement to indoctrinate the younger generation.

If you share, please credit: Pixel Pete & Citizen Caryn
Reports of free T-shirts being distributed by an older white gentleman on street corners near universities have not been confirmed.

NOTE: Any resemblance to a recent design by our own Pixel Pete using a slogan contributed by Citizen Caryn, may be purely coincidental.

Sunday, February 25, 2018

Should DEMS Retool Their Message?

PPPS (Littleton)—With the recent reversal in the national generic preference polls showing that the Democrats may be loosing their edge in voter approval, many in the media are asking the question: Should the Democrats retool their message for the 2018 elections?

Some pundits are even suggesting that the Democrats should shift their emphasis from RESISTANCE and all-out, 24/7 Trump hatred, to memes offering practical and proactive solutions to our nation's problems.

Credit: Pixel Pete and a generous grant from an unnamed Russian oligarch.
In that vein, we asked our graphic artist, Pixel Pete, to come up with some new, more positive messaging to help out our friends on the Left.

Here is his first suggestion.



Also, in light of the recent huge fundraising discrepancy between the GOP and the DNC, we asked Pixel Pete to address this issue as well.

Credit: Pixel Pete and a generous grant from the RNC.
Here is his practical suggestion in the form of a fundraising appeal to American workers, who constitute the bulk of the the Democratic Party base.