Citizen Pete Debates David Axelrod at Rockies Game

PPPS (Denver) One of our loyal readers and sometimes contributor, Citizen Pete, had the encounter of a lifetime Wednesday evening.  

David Axelrod & Citizen Pete at Coors Field

Pete had taken a break from his responsibilities to attend a Colorado Rockies vs. Chicago White Sox game at Coors Field. Amazingly, so did David Axelrod, the former White House Senior Adviser who is now managing President Obama’s reelection campaign from Chicago.

After receiving an anonymous tip, Pundit Pete Press Service (PPPS) interviewed Pete outside the stadium after the game. We asked Citizen Pete (CP) to describe the experience.

PPPS: How did you happen to meet David Axelrod?

CP: It was my wife who spotted him in the  stadium concourse. I thought she was kidding, but then she pointed him out as he was walking away. I caught up with him as he got in a line of people waiting for hot dogs and beer. 

My wife, on the other hand, kept on going in the other direction, either to avoid a confrontation, or as I would like to think, out of sympathy for Mr. Axelrod.

PPPS: Why were you so anxious to talk with him?

CP: Well, I figure you only get one chance to speak to a person who has access to the President, so you’d better take it. I thought maybe he’d like to know a little Tea Party perspective on things. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t hear from many regular folks like me.

PPPS: So how did you begin your conversation? Were you nervous?

CP: Well not really at first. I started by saying, “David?” You know, to make sure it was really him.  He said, Yes?  Then I started to introduce myself, and for the first time in my life, I was momentarily at a loss for words.  

After a long pause, all I could get out was a nervous, “I’m so excited to meet you......the man who invented astroturf!” 

I’m not sure if he was more proud or more anxious at that point.

PPPS: How did the conversation go from there?

CP: Well, then I said, “I have some things for you to tell the President. He needs to stop the  spending.” 

Then he started to lecture me, saying that you can’t balance the budget with just spending cuts. 

I said, “Wait a minute. You need to listen to me. I’m a Tea Party guy. I’m here to give you some input.”

PPPS: How did he respond to you identifying yourself as from the Tea Party?

CP:   He replied, “You need to tell your friends to stop supporting tax cuts for people making over $250,000 a year.” I said that I might consider something like that if the President ever actually cut anything, anything at all from the budget.

Then, he responded with, “The President proposed a budget that cuts trillions.” 

To that I said, “Oh, do you mean that budget that was just voted down 97-0 in the Senate? How’d that work out?” 

All he could come up with was “That was only a symbolic vote.” 

Not wanting to embarrass him any further,  I told him to enjoy the game and let him go. 

PPPS: So was that the end of your encounter with Mr. Axelrod?

CP:  Well, I thought it was. In fact, I kinda kicked myself for not getting a picture with him before we started debating.

Later, after I had rejoined my wife at our seats, I was telling the guy in the row behind me that I’d just talked to David Axelrod.  Not two seconds later, here comes Axelrod, who sits down two rows directly in front of us. Go figure the chances of that happening again.

PPPS:  So did you resume your debate with him?

CP:  Well, no. I figured he ought to be able to enjoy the game.  On the other hand, I did really want a picture with him; you know, to prove I had really met him.

Then after a couple of innings, the people in the row between us got up. I figured you only get one chance to have your picture taken with someone who has access to the President, so you’d better take it.

I climbed over the seats, sat down behind Mr. Axelrod and gently tapped him on the shoulder. With something less than total enthusiasm, he agreed to have his picture taken with me.  Like a good sport, he said “I’ll bet your pals will love that”.   I thanked him, and like many a good Tea Party member would do, said “God bless you” and left him alone to enjoy the game.  

PPPS:  On reflection, what do you think of your encounter with David Axelrod, Senior Adviser to President Obama? Are there things you wish you had said, or wish you hadn’t?

CP: Well, I wish I could have debated him longer, perhaps on a stage, or with a video recording it. But then, it was a ball game, and he is entitled to his free time. 

On the other hand, here was a man who was complicit in creating the largest deficit and debt in the history of our nation - in practically destroying our economy and a lot of other things. Maybe he needs to hear from more people like me.   

One thing that I wish I had done, was to ask him to apologize for some of the things he and “his pals” had said about the Tea Party.  I suppose, in that respect, I was much more polite than he deserved.  But that is who we are.

And that ended our interview with Citizen Pete.  Although Citizen Pete maintains that he won their short debate, Mr. Axelrod did not go home totally empty handed; the White Sox beat the Rockies 3-2.

Citizen Pete Responds to Senator's Call for Help

PPPS (Denver) Below is a copy of an email sent by one of our loyal readers, Citizen Pete, in response to Colorado Senator Mark Udall's request for help in reducing government waste, fraud and abuse. In our role to educate and inform, and to patriotically assist our government during these troubled times, we have printed a portion of the Senator's appeal, and Citizen Pete's generous response. We encourage other readers to offer their own suggestions to our hard-working Senator.

Senator Udall's Urgent Newsletter Appeal 

Dear Fellow Coloradan,

Too often in Washington D.C., Congress tends to focus on creating new programs and regulations, while sidelining an equally important role of the legislative branch: overseeing and reforming laws that are already on the books .....

I want to hear more about how we can make government work better for you, and you are the experts I need. Help me identify government waste, abuse or excessive red tape that you see in your daily life by submitting a “citizen report” through my website.

 

Citizen Pete's Suggestion

Dear Senator Udall:

The U.S. Senate has failed to propose or pass a budget in over two years. This failure to act on its constitutional responsibilities has allowed our government spending to balloon to unimaginable levels of deficit and debt and is "hindering our economy from reaching its full potential."

I suggest we suspend payment to members of the Senate until they fulfill their duties. The Senate has clearly become a wasteful, abusive and excessive government entity.

You work for us, but you are not doing your job. 

Get to work!

Respectfully,

Citizen Pete

Littleton, CO

###

Fathers Day

This post from Patriarch Pete (proud father of our founder, Pundit Pete) is dedicated to our friend Scott Langewisch, master story teller.

In a happy home in the suburbs, on the day before Fathers Day, a loving wife says to her husband, "Dear, tomorrow is Fathers Day. With the kids away, what special thing can I do for you?''

He responds "Oh, you don't need to do anything special, honey." Then, with a grin and a twinkle in his eye, he adds, "Just remind me how I got to be a father."

Late that evening, as the husband is falling asleep, he sees his wife slip out of bed, go to the back of their closet, and come out wearing a nightgown from years past. With a smile, the husband falls asleep and is soon dreaming about pleasant things.

In the middle of the night, very early on Fathers Day morning, the husband feels his wife gently nudge him and whisper, "Honey, wake up." But still in his pleasant dream, he falls back asleep.

Again, the wife gently nudges and says "Honey, wake up." Again he slips back into his dream.

A little while later, the husband is startled out of his dream by his wife violently shaking him, and shouting "Honey, you need to wake up!"

Fully awake now, he sits up and looks over at his wife, who is standing next to the bed. She tosses her overnight bag on the bed next to him, throws him the car keys, and stuffs a pillow up under the front of her nightgown.

Then she turns to leave the room, drops a water balloon on the floor, and frantically says "Oh no, the baby is coming. We need to hurry!

I'll be out in the car!"

Pundit Pete Weighs In On Palin E-mails

Note to our readers: Our esteemed leader and Editor-in-Chief, Pundit Pete, who is usually recognized as the smartest person in any room, skillfully directs operations at the Pundit Pete Press Service, but only occasionally offers up his official opinions on these pages. As those who know him well can attest, Pundit Pete operates at an intellectual level so far above the rest of us, that we often have no idea what he is talking about. However, on rare occasions, Pete will decide that an issue is so compelling, or that he has a prediction so prescient, that he insists on communicating directly with our loyal readers. On those rare occasions, we grant him access to this blog and a temporary password and let him opine. This is one of those occasions. 

To our readers - a message from Pundit Pete.

Recent news events have been replete with talk of E-mail Treats and Twitter Tweets.
 
On the subject of E-mail Treats, I have noticed a certain excitement revolving around today's release of some 24,000 e-mail documents from the former Palin administration.

Now, I am typically loath to criticize our esteemed colleagues at the New York Times or the Washington Post, but I do question their zeal in opening up old boxes of correspondence. (WP - do you really need to assign 8 reporters to this story?)

Again, I am not one to pass judgement, but I am beginning to think that they don't like Sarah Palin. Is it possible for them to have compromised their otherwise unassailable objectivity in reporting the news about presidential politics?

My own observations on the content of the emails gained from five minutes of perusing on the NYT web site:

1. Sarah can write in complete sentences. In fact she writes pretty darn well for someone of such limited intellect and education.
2. Sarah can multi-task and converse on numerous subjects, even when she is out of town, say running for Vice President, or having a child, etc.
3. Sarah likes and trusts her staff and is encouraging to them.
4. Sarah is up to speed on a surprising number of subjects for someone who has never read a newspaper.
5. Sarah had reason to be mistrusting of the media from the moment she was announced a VP candidate.
6. Sarah put her state and citizens first, and worked her a** off for them.

One other interesting note: although some of the content in the emails has been redacted, the Palins made no such request.

Mark my words. 

This whole exciting exercise is going to backfire.  The emails will come back to haunt........... the liberal media.

Everyone should take a few minutes to read through some of the Palin emails. It would surprise me greatly if your opinion of Sarah Palin does not trend more positively as a result.

On the subject of Twitter Tweets, I state categorically that I have never met Anthony Weiner and that I have no relationship with Promiscuous Pete, who is at most a distant cousin. As to certain postings of a photographic nature, I am willing to submit to a TSA scan or pat down at any time, if that will settle the matter and clear up with certitude certain rumors circulating in the blogosphere.

An Apology to Our Readers

PPPS (Denver & Washington, DC) Some of you may have wondered about the two-month hiatus in stories posted on this site, and a few of you, unfortunately, may have briefly been tweeted to some uncomfortable content during that period. We sincerely apologize.

Beginning in early April, all of our editorial staff and correspondents were posted to London to cover the Royal Wedding. This was the first time that the Pundit Pete Press Service had attempted coverage of such an important international event entirely from a remote location.

Unfortunately, certain technical and logistical problems were encountered, including the apparent hacking of our web site and Twitter accounts by an unknown person or organization. Several of our stories were compromised and had to be removed, including behind-the-scenes coverage of the Royal Family by our own, award-winning, Chief UK Correspondent, Pompous Pete. We are diligently working to re post those stories for the benefit of our faithful readers.

We will also be re posting our Editor-In-Chief Pundit Pete's in-depth article about his golf outing and exclusive interview with President Obama, as well as continued coverage of the Arab

**********************************************************

@ Promiscuous Pete

     Pundit Pete

AW - got jingle f/y re-election "OH I WISH I WERE AN OSCAR-MAYER WEINER..." # liked last photo - here's 1 of me 

PHOTO BLOCKED DUE TO INAPPROPRIATE CONTENT

2 minutes ago via web                                                                                                                            
                                                                                                                                                           
**********************************************************

and, while at first we suspected that someone on staff may have been responsible, we have since ruled out that possibility, and our IT staff have now successfully blocked the hacker. We continue to vigorously pursue the identity of the hacker(s), including the prospect for prosecution to the fullest extent of the law.

Again, we apologize for any inconvenience to our readers and thank you for your patience.  - The Staff

 Note: Photo of Royal Wedding (AP Photo/Dave Thompson, Pool) from Oregon.live web site.

Behind-the-Scenes Quote of the Week

يجب على الناس الذين يعيشون في خيام لا رمي السكاكين

Muammar Gaddafi with Hasni Mubarak in 1992 - Photo from the Time, Inc. Photo Essay titled Inside the tents of Muammar Gaddafi

PPPS (Cairo) This week's Behind-the-Scenes Quote of the Week is credited to PPPS Chief Middle East Correspondent, Palestinian Pete. On assignment in Cairo, Pete has been covering the Arab League meeting convened to address a no-fly zone over Libya. During a break in the contentious negotiations, Pete overheard this comment from one Arab diplomat discussing Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi's prospects for remaining in power,

يجب على الناس الذين يعيشون في خيام لا رمي السكاكين       

Roughly translated, this classic Arabic saying means,

"People who live in tents should not throw knives."

Important Note & Disclaimer: PPPS is not responsible for mistranslation of Arabic sayings  in this or any other PPPS articles, or for misinterpretation of any mistranslation of Arabic or other language sayings or phrases, or for misinterpretation of cultural or religious references to tents, or to certain middle eastern religions, or for any resulting riots which might occur in Arab cities or neighborhoods around the world. 

If threatened, PPPS will disavow any prior knowledge of, or professional relationship with, PPPS Chief Middle East Correspondent Palestinian Pete, any of his friends, family or associates, and will immediately remove any misinterpreted or objectionable content from this posting.

 Follow @Pundit_Pete

MLK Day — One Day After

In honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., maybe it's time to take the race card out of the deck and replace it with this:

Thank you Dr. King for your sacrifice for our country, for your faith, for your courage, and for your inspiration.  — The Staff

Note: You can pass this message on and purchase a window decal like the one above at Meadowlark Press.

Democratic Prospects in Today's Election

 

 One Tea Party participant's opinion of Nancy Pelosi and friends' prospects for retaining control of Congress. From the 9/12 March in Washington, DC in 2010.  Citizen Pete photo.

The Tea Party Exposed Part 1 -- A Dangerous and Threatening Agenda

PPPS (Washington, DC)—In this, Part 1, of our series on the Radical Right-Wing Tea Party Movement, we sent our own PPPS crack reporter, guilt-ridden, middle-aged, white-suburban-male Progressive Pete, disguised as a typical unrepentant racist middle-aged white-suburban male, to penetrate the inner workings of the Tea Party Movement at their recent September 12, 2010, Tea Party March on the Capitol in Washington, DC.

This revealing video, secretly filmed by Progressive Pete and smuggled out under difficult circumstances, illustrates one aspect of the dangerous and threatening agenda behind the Tea Party Movement. What at first appears to be a spontaneous song sung by a small group of radicals, may in fact be part of a concerted effort to shape the Tea Party message and to influence unsuspecting Tea Party attendees. 

As evidence of this coordinated effort, our PPPS crack team of researchers unearthed this song video by professional musician Bruce Bellot. Although in this instance, the link may be inconclusive, we have identified other professional musicians with possible ties to the Tea Party Movement, including Ava Aston, John "David" Kahn, and Lloyd Marcus. Taken together, these songs and videos have the potential to popularize the growing movement and to infuse both young and old alike with the Tea Party message.

Furthermore, since professional musicians and entertainers in America rarely, if ever, volunteer their political views, this proliferation of similar Tea Party "friendly" songs and videos can only mean that an underlying funding mechanism is at work in support of their production.


Progressive Pete remains undercover. Look for additional videos and reports coming soon in our five-part series titled: 
The Tea Party Exposed
Part 1 -- A Dangerous and Threatening Agenda
Part 2 -- Military Veterans Identified in Tea Party Crowd
Part 3 -- Shocking Media Bias Revealed
Part 4 -- Women May Be at Core of Tea Party Movement
Part 5 -- Racist Elements Finally Exposed

The Pundit Pete Press Service wishes to thank Who Said? You Said! for providing the high-tech video equipment used to obtain this undercover video.  Please go to their video blog site, particularly for Colorado political issues.  Bravo for their efforts!

Citizen Pete's Proud Moment at 9/12 March

Hello, my name is Pete. I'm a member of the Tea Party movement. 

On Sunday, September 12, 2010, I marched on our Capitol in Washington, D.C. 

I was there to give our legislators the "what for" for spending way too much of our money.  

Lots of other citizens were there too -- I met people from every state in the union. It was a wonderful thing and I'm proud to have been a part of it.

But I'm especially proud of my contribution to the rally that day. 

C.L. Bryant

While I was listening to a speech by one of our Tea Party leaders, I heard him say how the Tea Party Movement was changing the debate and influencing elections in 50 states across this great land.

At that very moment, right there in front of our nation's capitol, in the midst of thousands and thousands of patriots, images of all of the wonderful people I'd met flashed through my mind.....and then, with great pride welling up inside, I stood and yelled a correction to the speaker at the podium,

"Hey, the Tea Party Movement is active in all 57 States!"

As the crowd erupted in approval and began to chant "57, 57, 57", I sat down, bewildered by what I had done.

Now that I'm back home in Colorado and have had a couple of days to reflect, I realize that I was meant to be there that day, and that I was meant to stand up and to set the record straight about our great Tea Party Movement.

With the media at every turn diminishing and demeaning our efforts, even our own movement leaders have come to downplay our numbers and to underestimate our influence. 

But we must proudly stand tall. 

If we are to win this national debate,
and if we are to succeed in November, 
We must always remember .....  
     
stick strictly to the facts.

Well, anyway, that's my opinion.

Proudly patriotic,
Citizen Pete

Note:   The views expressed in Citizen Pete's post are those of the author, and do not reflect the opinions of the Pundit Pete Press Service (PPPS).  PPPS has not fact-checked any of the information  in this post.  PPPS claims no affiliation with the Tea Party Movement. Furthermore, PPPS neither encourages nor condones such un-American activities as peaceful protest and assembly.

Senate Confirms Coakley Ahead of Massachusettes Election

(APPS - Washington) In a surprising turn of events which may have implications for passage of health care reform legislation, the U.S. Senate early this morning confirmed Martha Coakley as the new senator from Massachusettes.

This action was preceded late Friday evening by a special emergency session of the Massechusettes Senate and House of Representatives. The joint session was convened to vote in a new law allowing for certification of a winning candidate ahead of a special election. Passage of the measure was nearly unanimous, with State Senator Scott Brown, the only Republican elected official in Massachusetts, casting the lone dissenting vote.

Shortly after receiving a faxed opinion from the State Attorney General that the new law was constitutional, the joint session then voted to certify Democratt Martha Coakley as the winner of next Tuesday's special election. The second vote on formal certification was unanimous --Mr. Brown having left the capitol building.  Governor Deval Patrick quickly signed the measure to send Ms. Coakly to Washington as the new Senator from the Commonwealth of Massechusettes.

In the U.S. Senate session, convened at 12 AM this morning, a resolution was put forward by Senator Burris of Illinois to immediately confirm the State of Massachusetts' action. "Far be it for this august body to hesitate in affirming a request by a state to fill a vacancy" stated Senator Burris as he introduced the measure.

Debating the issue on the Senate floor, Senate Leader Harry Reid argued, "This important action will allow us to move forward on health care reform so that the 60 million people currently without health insurance in this country can receive the care they so desperately need." In an uncharacteristically brief speech, Senator Kerry, the senior senator from Massachusetts, made an emotional plea to "Just do it for Teddy" and sat down.

During the five minutes of debate allotted to them, Senate Republicans once again tried to thwart the progress of health reform by arguing that both the actions by Massachusetts to certify a candidate prior to an election, and the Senate resolution to seat that candidate, were in violation of the U.S. Constitution and Senate rules. "During my entire career in public service I've never seen anything so outrageous as this," stated Senator McCain of Arizona.

There was a brief period of delay when it appeared that Democrats might not have the 60 votes necessary to cut off debate. However, a phone call from President Obama, who was following the proceedings on C-SPAN, to Senator Paul Kirk, quickly resolved the problem.  Senator Kirk, who was appointed in September to temporarily occupy the Ted Kennedy Seat, cast the deciding vote to end debate, and then again to formally seat Ms. Coakley. Kirk noted ironically, "I may just have made Senate history by voting to put myself out of a job."  Rumors that Kirk may have been offered a choice ambassadorship could not be confirmed.


At the conclusion of the vote, the new Senator Coakley, who was already in Washington, DC for a campaign fundraiser and to pick out new office furniture, immediately entered the Senate chamber and was sworn in. Coakley, while humbly acknowledging the enthusiastic applause, stated: "I want to thank my new colleagues in the Senate and the wisdom of our elected representatives in Massachusettes for expressing the true will of the people. I am honored to accept this seat for so long occupied by he Lion of the Senate and will do my best to uphold his dream of free universal health care for everyone."

Back in Boston, Republican candidate Scott Brown, contacted at 2 AM while shaking hands with constituents exiting sports bars near Fenway Park, vowed to keep campaigning right up until Tuesday's vote.  On some of the early morning blogs, pundits are questioning his decision to continue campaigning in light of what is now considered a meaningless election. Many say it just confirms the complete disconnect between Mr. Brown and the people of Massachusetts.

In a brief statement released this morning prior to meeting with former presidents Clinton and Bush about Haiti relief, President Obama had this to say about Senator Coakley's confirmation:

I want to comment on the recent unprecedented action by the Senate last night to seat Senator Coakley before what was about to become a sham election. The Republicans, beholden to insurance companies, pharmaceutical companies, Wall Street bankers and other special interests, were attempting to thwart the will of the American people to reform our failed health care system by influencing the Senate election in Massachusetts. This issue has been a matter of great concern to me. That failed election process could have resulted in a situation where the citizens of that great state, who already enjoy the benefits of universal health care insurance, would have been manipulated into voting to prevent others in this country from receiving similar insurance reform. That situation was just not acceptable to me. I will not condone a health care reform solution that rewards citizens in one state differently from those in another. Therefore, I am very pleased with the steps taken and the wisdom expressed by the Massechussettes Senate and House of Representatives in this matter, and by the actions of the Senate. I am looking forward to working with Senator Coakley on health care reform and other important issues.  Thank you.

Rumors that House Speaker Nancy Palosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid may convene a joint session of Congress late this evening to pass a health care reform bill, prior to conclusion of the conference negotiations and writing of the bill, could not be confirmed.

Blog Follower Sends Calling Card

A frequent follower of this blog -- a man who calls himself Citizen Pete - sent in his calling card.  We thought we would post it. - The Staff

Video Inspires Support for President's Plans

(APPPS - Nashville) A new music video by well-known comedian and song writer Tim Hawkins titled "The Government Can" has made a meteoric rise to the top of the charts in the past few days, and may turn the tide in the health care reform debate. Leading pundits are predicting that the video's popularity and its positive message, which builds a strong case for increased government intervention in the economy and our personal lives, may tip the balance in the president's favor, not only on heath care reform, but on President Obama's other ambitious legislative initiatives such as Cap and Trade and a second, much-needed stimulus bill.

Democratic legislators have discovered that playing the video at the start of townhall meetings often turns the crowd from angry opposition into enthusiastic support of government-run health care. Even the most cantankurous, un-American retirees and veterans are turning into polite and apologetic patriots, often requesting more sweeping entitlements than proposed in the current bills.

Rumors that the White House and Organizing for America may have paid for production of the video could not be confirmed.

To view the Tim Hawkins video, click here. And to support real comedy go to Tim's website.

Guest Editorial on Health Care Reform

The following guest editorial is from that well-known malcontent Persnickety Pete, founder of the extreme right-wing organization, Un-Americans For Change, and author of the book "Manufacturing Anger - a Guide to Political Persuasion". Some consider Pete to be the "Saul Alinsky" of the Tea Party movement.

My Thoughts on Health Care Reform
- by Persnickety Pete

All this loud, hot air about Health Care Reform got me think'n.  

And after think'n a while, I got to remember'n. 

And after remember'n a while, I wuz reminded of how my great grandmama, Persnickety Pearl, who was really wise and really persnickety, had a say'n.

And this say'n, wuz someth'n Grandmama Persnickety Peal said all the time.  And every time she said it, she said it really loud, 'cause she couldn't hear very well, and 'cause she couldn't hear very well, she jus' figured no one else could hear very well either, so whatever she said, she said really loud. 

Which is maybe why I remember this thing she said to me so well, it be'n so loud and all. That and the fact that she repeated it so often. I think that sometimes she forgot what she said from one minute to the next, so she tended to repeat herself, which she did quite often. And she did it loudly. Did I say that already, you know, about the loud part?

Well, anyway........where was I? ......I kinda got distracted there for a minute..... 

Ya know, my great grandmama, Persnickety Pearl, she used to get distracted a lot, too. And when she got distracted, she'd start to speak louder. And then she'd start to repeat herself, and that was when you knew she was really distracted. And the last thing ya wanted to do when Grandmama Pearl got really distracted wuz to distract her some more.

And then.....oh, yeah, I remember now..... my great grandmama Persnickety Pearl had this say'n....I can almost hear her now.

She'd say to me "Pete, my persnickety little pumpk'n, come over to yor great grandmama, and set yorself down, cause she's got someth'n to say to you." And then she'd kind'a lean over a bit, real close to my ear, and she'd say really loud,

"Just remember this, THE ROAD TO RUIN IS PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS...... 

and if I've said it once, I'll say it again, only louder, so you can hear me.....

THE ROAD TO RUIN IS PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS."

And then, most times, she would nod off, and I would try and get away without distracting her again.

Well, it just so happened that, while I was thnk'n about my great grandmama, Persnickety Pearl, a thought occured to me.

What if this new government health care reform bill that they've been debate'n at all these Townhall meet'ns, was kinda like that road she always talked about?

It just seemed like all those people scream'n at each other at them Townhall meet'ns must have had good intentions, especially 'cause they were all so loud, and 'cause my great grandmama, Persnickety Pearl,  was really loud, and she always had good intentions. 

And then I remembered all of the stuff I get in the mail tell'n about how our duly elected officials have good intentions.  And then I realized, right then and there ....

now this is important....

right then and there, I realized, that this health care reform thing was just like that road that my great grandmama was always talk'n about.

And then a wave a patriotism washed over me, and I knew I had to do someth'n about it.

And so, as a proud "un-American" and a good citizen, I decided to make a list of things I could do about that road to ruin we seemed to be go'n down. 

Here's the list of ideas I came up with:

1. Ignore great grandmama, and Blindly Follow That Road wherever it leads.
2. Turn up the music, Tune Out the loud debate and just enjoy the scenery.
   
3. Trust our duly elected road engineers to know what the heck they're doing.
4. Wait for those duly elected engineers to figure it out on their own and change direction.
5. Kindly, respectfully, and not too loudly, Suggest a new route.
6. Stop along the road, wave my arms and Shout to get their attention.
7. Get a shovel and dig some potholes to Slow Them Down.
8. Divert Them with a  Really Big DETOUR Sign.
9. TAKE OUT THE BRIDGE...... FIRE THE ENGINEERS...... ELECT NEW ONES!
   

Mmm.... that last one sounds the best.

Disrespectfully yours, Pernickety Pete, somewhere in Western Colorado, August 14, 2009

Please note that the Pundit Pete Press Service does not condone, nor is it in anyway responsible for, the fishy content of this guest editorial, or for any intended or unintended consequences resulting from the publishing of this guest editorial, including, but not limited to: the forwarding of this guest editorial and any associated e-mail responses from our readers to flag@whitehouse.gov; or any resulting e-mails from David Axelrod, Senior Adviser to the President; or damage to, or destruction of, any bridges.

President Announces New Cost-Cutting Plan

(APPPS - Washington) Immediately following today's cabinet meeting, in which President Obama directed agency heads to search for over $100 million in program cuts, the White House released copies of the President's new directive, which will make such cost-cutting measures permanent. Titled the Give Back to America Plan, the presidential directive requires a minimum of $100 million in cuts for each $100 billion in new spending.

In an unexpected brief statement before a small contingent of reporters, and witnessed by a group of middle school students touring the White House, Obama declared, "These cost cutting measures will ensure that necessary growth in government goes hand in handout with fiscal responsibility. When combined with tax cuts for over 95 percent of all Americans, today's directive goes a long way in achieving my goal of halving the rate in growth of the federal deficit by the middle of my third term."

"I am also asking Congress to do their part to Give Back to America. In a spirit of bipartisanship, I am requesting that Democratic and Republican leaders in Congress work together to eliminate at least two earmarks, carefully chosen from Republican districts, for every 1,000 earmarks included in any piece of legislation."

"Furthermore, in a letter to the Supreme Court, I am requesting that the federal courts be directed to automatically release a minimum of three citizens out of every 1,000 detained under our new Rightwing Extremist Detention and Re-Education Initiative."

In response to a question from a middle school student about whether the constitution limits a president to two terms, Obama responded "The American people elected me to bring hope and change to America, and it's time we discard stale and out-dated policies of the past. We must move forward together as a nation to address the overwhelming problems I inherited. A president cannot be held responsible for misguided policies enacted when he was just a young student like yourself."

There was no comment from the White House regarding a leaked draft of the President's Give Back to America letter to Congress, which had floated the idea of a cutback in the annual Congressional pay raise.

Pundit Pete Press Service Special Educational Link - For encouragement and a better understanding of how the President's New Give Back to America Plan can reduce the Federal budget check out this video.

Homeland Security Rumor Debunked

APundit Pete Press Service NEWS FLASH
(APPPS - Washington) A widely-circulated rumor that the administration has been planning to change the name of the Department of Homeland Security to the less intimidating and more culturally sensitive title of "Mi Casa Es Su Casa" was denied yesterday by a spokesperson for Secretary Janet Napolitano. The rumor has now been officially debunked.

The source of the rumor was apparently an, as yet unidentified, Washington Beltway blogger. Several national news organizations are reported to be assigning teams of journalists to expose the blogger's identity, tax records, medical records, family members, neighbors, business associates, acquaintances, political affiliations, and other relevant information. Our own APPPS crack team of reporters and Internet researchers are currently following an exclusive lead on the blogger's identity.

Check back for updates.

Ward Churchill to Accept UN Appointment

(APPPS - Boulder, CO) After a whirlwind of high stakes negotiations easily as complicated as in any NFL trade, recently reinstated University of Colorado Professor Ward Churchill has agreed to accept a position as Special Envoy to serve on the United Nations Human Rights Council.