Stories from CPAC 2022

PPPS (Orlando)--We've assigned several of our staff Petes to roam the halls of CPAC 2022 in Orlando and interview attendees and celebrities alike. Here are a few.

Stories from @cpac 2022.

Sitting in the Press Area for CPAC, the power went out for two rows of tables and the journalists started to panic.

Pundit Pete (aka Practical Pete) went out into hallway and found Foreman Mike Furey, a regular CPAC attendee and builder of border walls. He came in and immediately fixed our electrical problem.

Now if we can set him to work on our election integrity problem. THANKS MIKE!

Commentary on Canada from a Progressive

PPPS (Boulder)—With our neighbor to the north shut down by traitorist trucker terrorists, and the Canadian Prime Minister finally taking appropriate action, we were surprised to see this commentary from our own staff member, Progressive Pete. 

Could the winds of change be blowing south?

Disclaimer: The Pundit Pete Press Service, it's staff and affiliates, do not condone violent horn blowing as a legitimate form of expression.

Could Pete Be Offered Supreme Court Appointment?

PPPS (Washington, DC)—With the "Unofficial" announcement that Supreme Court Justice Breyer will retire, speculation as to a replacement has been running rampant around this town.

PPPS has an exclusive scoop that our own Pundit Pete is high on the list for the appointment. We have obtained a copy of the application submitted by Pete, which our White House sources tell us has already risen to the top of the stack.

President Joe Biden

White House

                                  Re: Upcoming Supreme Court Vacancy

Hey Joe -

I have an unblemished court record (if you ignore that incident back in college) and I self-identify as a BLACK FEMALE.

Plus, since Covid started, I've gotten a lot of experience working in a robe.

Come on man, give me a call!

—Your friend, Soon-to-be-Justice, Pundit Pete

PPPS will keep you updated as this story develops. Pete has already met with several leaders in the Senate to determine how he would rule on key issues before the Court.

Pundit Pete's 2022 Predictions

PPPS (Littleton)—With 2021 finally in the rearview mirror, our esteemed Editor-In-Chief, Pundit Pete, has issued his Predictions for 2022. 

1. Illegals Will Sue Cartels in 2022

With a generous cash settlement courtesy of U.S. taxpayers apparently off the table, look for illegal immigrants and their Leftist lawyers to re-aim their mistreatment, separation and trauma lawsuits at the Mexican Cartels in 2022. 

Pundit Pete is so confident in the success of this endeavor that he has directed our own corporate attorney Pleader Pete to get in on the action (and a generous cut of the resulting cash settlements). We will update our readers on the lawsuit status, just as soon as we hear back from Pleader Pete, who is making initial inquiries south of the border (he's only been missing for a few days now).

2. Democrats Will Win Big in the 2022 Midterms

All of the major polling outfits, and most of the TV pundits are now predicting a major win for the GOP in the 2022 midterm elections. But those same major polling outfits and TV pundits have been notoriously wrong in their predictions over the past few election cycles. 

Here at the Pundit Pete Press Service, we have undertaken a different polling and prediction approach, seeking out the underlying trends in politics that others passed over. Relying on a unique and proprietary polling method in which we are able to sample deceased voters, PPPS has identified a major underground shift in voter attitudes going into 2022. 

H/T to Suzanne Hamner for article and photo. 

In 2020, the extremely large dead voter block voted almost exclusively for Trump, allowing him to come remarkably close to winning the presidential election. However, one year into the Biden administration, this voting block appears to have turned over. 

With references to President Biden's shuffles on stage as akin to a "dead man walking", the resent Democrat Build Back Better legislation described as "dead in the water", Biden's policy decision making process described as "brain dead", with both the Democrats' and Biden's approval ratings in a "death spiral", dead voters have taken note.

"The Dems are just like us. Dead. So, they've got my vote", blushed one deceased Chicago voter, who proudly displayed a Grover Cleveland pin commemorating the first election he ever voted in. "In fact, I'm gonna vote Democrat in several states this year." he added.

Based on these trends, Pundit Pete is now predicting a filibuster and veto-proof Congress. With such an overwhelming majority, Democrats will be able to pass Democracy-Restoring, Covid- Crushing, and Climate-Saving legislation at Biden's bidding starting in 2023.

Just remember, you heard it here first. 

P.S. - don't forget Pete's previously successful prediction in the 2012 election.

Bonus - Pete's Personal Resolutions for 2022 We Can All Follow

MORE PREDICTIONS TO COME - That last one really took the life out of Pete, and he needs a little time to recover.

Biden Unleashes New Afghanistan Strategy

PPPS (Camp David, MD)—In response to mild criticism from the press and the international community, the Biden Administration today unleashed a new strategy to repatriate American citizens and others currently held hostage by the Taliban in Afghanistan.

The strategy was unveiled by Dr. Jill Biden, on behalf of President Joe Biden, at a video press conference today from Camp David, the presidential retreat where the couple are currently vacationing. The President's only participation in the press conference was to briefly help hold up a sign. No follow-up questions were allowed.

The strategy, as explained by Dr. Biden, was to appeal to the Taliban via their huge following on Twitter. "You don't accomplish goals or conduct diplomacy with mean tweets" she added, presumably referring to former President Trump, who has been banned from Twitter.

Many in the press are dubbing it a brilliant social media coup, in stark contrast to the failed military and diplomatic efforts originally conceived by the Trump Administration to safely extricate the U.S. from Afghanistan.

For her part, Dr. Biden graciously shared credit for the strategy with former First Lady Michelle Obama, who had previously conducted a successful "hashtag campaign" on behalf of another group of hostages several years ago.

For those unable to watch the full news conference, PPPS has created this brief summary, including a screen shot of the vacationing couple with their sign for the campaign using the hashtag #PleaseLetThemLeave.

Biden's Afghanistan Speech Summary

PPPS (Washington, DC)—President Joe Biden took time out from his well-earned vacation to deliver speech to our nation and the world regarding the US troop withdrawal from Afghanistan.

For the benefit of our low information readers with short attention spans, we summarized President Biden's historic speech with a few brief phrases and photos.

Pundit Pete's Advice to President Biden

PPPS (Brussels)—As the G7 Summit winds up and President Biden prepares to meet with Vladimir Putin, our own Pundit Pete had some kindly advice for future international conferences...and for any other interactions involving our dear leader.

VP Harris Finally Visits Border

PPPS (McAllen, TX)—BREAKING NEWS

In a stunning change of course in the Biden Border Policy, Border Crisis Czar and Current Vice President Kamala Harris has chosen to visit the southern border with Mexico to personally assess the situation.

And, in perhaps an even more stunning turn around, VP Harris made her visit to the border as part of a bipartisan tour, accompanied by radical Colorado Republican Representative Lauren Boebert, of gun packing fame.

Our PPPS camera crew was able to obtain exclusive video of the history-making border visit by Vice President Harris.

Has Race Card Been Overplayed?

PPPS (Littleton)—Given the Left's proclivity for labeling anything they disagree with as racist, we asked our crack research team to search for something not so labeled. Here is the result.

In the course of their research, PPPS staff also came across this old post, which seemed relevant.

State of the Union

PPPS (Orlando)-- Questions have been  raised among the political class about whether President Joe Biden will be giving the traditional State of the Union speech to Congress, or is even capable of doing so.

It turns out that, given the mess left by the previous administration, and the lack of any vaccine available to combat the Wuhan virus pandemic, the Biden Administration has had to sideline that speech. Fortunately, former President Donald Trump was able to step in and help out. 

Here is a link to President Trump's speech at CPAC 2021.
President Trump CPAC 2021 Full Speech I NewsNOW from FOX - Bing video

Thoughts on Unity

 PPPS (Littleton)—Our new and esteemed President, Joe Biden, campaigned (sort of) on a theme of Unity for America. Since his inauguration, he and fellow Democrats have begun to implement that great theme through executive orders, partisan legislation, and calls to expel and silence Republicans and conservative media.

Their actions help to clarify the role of Unity in bringing America together. We asked our graphic artist, Pixel Pete, to illustrate the Democrats' concept of Unity. 

Competition for the MyPillow Man

PPPS (Atlanta) —As controversy mounts over Mike Lindell's outrageous claims of erection fra*d and continued support for the former president who shall not be named, Progressive activist David Hogg has decided to make a play for the MyPillow Man's source of power and influence, his bottom line.

Mr. Hogg recently announced that he will be fielding his own line of products in this high stakes pillow fight. PPPS has obtained a pre-release ad copy of Hogg's first product announcement. 

Why the Urgent Flood of Executive Orders?

 PPPS (Washington, DC) —As Pundit Pete looked out upon our nation's capitol, surrounded by fences and razor wire, and the flood of executive orders from the White House, he sat and pondered these tides of tyranny, and the sea change that threatens America. 

Dangerous Hand Sign Deciphered

PPPS (Washington, DC)—Secret hand signals have featured prominently in the news. We enlisted the help of renowned sign language expert and interpreter, Pantomime Pete, to assist Pundit Pete in the investigation of this trending phenomenon. Here's what they came up with.

Could Voters be Experiencing Buyer's Remorse?

PPPS (Washington, DC)—President Biden signed a flurry of executive orders on his first day, representing policies and issues he apparently never campaigned on. Are voters starting to experience a bit of Buyer's Remorse?

We came across a couple of indicators of that online (anonymous sources).

29-Jan-2021 UPDATE: We saw this trending online today. Source unknown.

Biden's 1st Executive Orders

PPPS (Washington, DC)—President-Elect Joe Biden plans to hit the ground running, with a number of executive orders aimed at bringing unity to America.

   

PPPS has learned that, in addition to his 100-day Mask Mandate, the newly-installed president will issue an executive order to change the logo for the Department of Homeland Security to a more welcoming and unity-inducing design. 

The new design will replace the old, out-of-vogue design depicting a a bald eagle. Border Patrol agents are expected to have new uniforms depicting the logo in time for the arrival of the first caravan of illegal immigrants currently breaching the border between Honduras and Guatemala.

UPDATE Jan. 22, 2020: After posting this article we learned about the actual executive orders issued by President Biden on his first 1/2 day in office, some of which are quite controversial. With regard to the immigration issue, apparently our new president went a bit further than just changing a logo and creating a welcoming environment, and put a stop on exporting any illegal aliens. While we appreciate the kind sentiment, we fear these actions may have broad implications on our economy.

The president ended up issuing 25 orders on Day 1. Among them was an order to allow for boy (men) to participate in girls (women) sports. Another was to stop the Keystone XL pipeline project. 

Apparently this angered one of our loyal readers, a Democrat, who responded with this comment. We are not sure what the last part of that comment means, but we have a new policy here at PPPS to never discuss ERECTION FR@UD.

Biden Transition Requests Denied

 PPPS (Washington, DC)—From unnamed sources in both the White House and the Office of President-Elect Joe Biden, PPPS has learned that at least one very important Transition Team request has been denied.

Apparently, in the wake of President-Elect Biden's recent foot injury incurred while playing with the Soon-To-Be First Dog, the Biden transition team has requested that senior-safe, walk-in tub-showers be installed in the White House private residence, adjacent to the Oval Office, and in the female Secret Service detail locker room. The lame-duck White House transition team has apparently denied this important safety request.

The Beast (prior to modification)

In an unrelated story, Chief White House Correspondent Political-Beat Pete has learned that the White House also denied a Biden Transition Team request to modify the official Presidential Limousine, affectionately dubbed "The Beast", to add a secret compartment capable of transporting ballot boxes.

Thought on Election Fraud

 PPPS (Philadelphia)—Our fearless leader, Pundit Pete, who is on vacation in the City of Brotherly Love, will be posting some random thought on Election Fraud.

Election Day in America - Choose Wisely

PPPS (Littleton)—It's now up to We the People whether we will keep our Republic.

Did Biden Steal a Page From the Clinton Playbook?

PPPS (New York City)—Unnamed sources cultivated by PPPS within the FBI and Department of Justice have revealed that there was an unpublished manuscript and book proposal on the hard disk of a laptop left by Hunter Biden at a Delaware computer repair shop. 

PPPS has obtained an exclusive copy of the manuscript, along with this proposed cover for the book.

In our initial review of the book manuscript, PPPS investigators discovered a number of passages which bore a remarkable resemblance to passages included in a similar guide to business success written and published by fellow Democrats, Bill and Hillary Clinton in their New York Times best seller book titled DEAD BROKE NO MORE. You may recall their book from it's famous cover.